Like all years 2017 had some victories and some defeats. It held moments where my heart was soaring and moments where my heart broke. As I reflect back I have noticed there were a lot of moments of waiting. Waiting to find out if we were accepted into the school I knew would be perfect for my son, waiting on the fate of a dear friend, waiting while we watched a fire burn out of control on the mountains above our town wondering when it would stop. And in those moments is where I found Jesus.
When I was fully out of control and had no choice but to place it into the hands of Jesus I found rest and peace that surpasses all understanding. Lately the song "Take Courage" has been on repeat for me. The song has become my prayer.
Here are some of the first words in the song:
Slow Down Take Time
Breathe in, He said
He'd reveal what's to come
The thoughts in His mind
Always higher than mine
He'll reveal all to come
So take Courage my heart
Stay steadfast my soul
He's in the waiting
As I have been reflecting on this idea of waiting I was recently brought back to December 2012. I was feeling ready for another placement from foster care. I had prayed and asked the LORD for a placement where I could love on the birth parents and help them to reunite. I showed up to the foster parent Christmas party and another foster mother had a little tiny baby. I remember saying to God why her and why not me. I was so upset. Of course His thoughts are higher than mine. On December 30th 2012 my phone rang and it was our little mans birth mother. She thanked me for her Christmas present and then went on to tell me that she was pregnant and that it was twins. She then asked if we would adopt them. If you know our family you know we said yes, but thats not really the point of this story.
The lesson in all of this is that God knew and thats why we didn't get that placement call. He knew she was pregnant and that two babies were coming our way and He was preparing me in the waiting. You see in the waiting my desire to love on a birth mom was growing. He was giving me His heart for her. The desires of my heart were from Him and He had a story that was so much better then the one I had constructed.
I know every year will find times of waiting and my hope is that I and others will stop and breathe in, remembering He is in the waiting. As my town looks at the scorched hills may we all find His peace as we wait for new growth. Not only physical growth, but spiritual growth as well. He is planning something new and His story is so much better then anything we could dream up on our own. This year I hope to find myself being comfortable in the waiting, remembering that is where He meets me.
As the sun sets on 2017 ask the LORD what he has for you this year. This year I asked and as hard as it is for me to sit in the waiting I feel like that is what He is telling meet do. I felt the Father gently say "I am in the waiting come and sit here with me."
If you want to listen to the song I have on repeat here it is.